I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
