This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
