It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
