then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
