6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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