We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
