Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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