Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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