Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I AM VODKA MAN
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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