they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
