Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
