Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
