I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
