Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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