i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
