whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
