what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
