You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
