OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
