Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
