All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
