Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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