I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
