my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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