i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
