What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The adults are the big ones right?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
