Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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