he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
