You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
