I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
