We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
