I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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