The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
