she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
