I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You're like the curious george of whores
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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