Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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