i think my mom watched the whole time
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
