I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone shit on the floor
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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