the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
