8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
