WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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