Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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