just come out here and I will go home with you...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
