i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
