I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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