***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
