Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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