My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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