i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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