1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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