Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize