My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
