How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
