dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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