yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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