Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
