And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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