I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
