I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
tell me about the eggs
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