i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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