when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
