Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
