Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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