if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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