I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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