i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize