He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize