It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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