He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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