She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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