jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
