He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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