Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
