real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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