Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
