He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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